Sunday School Lesson

The Sunday School lesson was on honesty. The teacher inquired of his class,
"Would all of those of you who read the 35th chapter of Matthew raise your right hand?"
A number of them raised their hands.
And then he said. "You are the ones I want to talk to. There is no 35th Chapter of Matthew."

Sins

Sign on a church bulletin board.
"If you don't like what you hear on a given Sunday, your sins will be cheerfully refunded."

Little Jacob

Little Jacob was attending his first Sunday School class.
    "Do you say your prayers before eating?" inquired his teacher.
    "I don't have to," responded the boy, "my mother is a good cook."

Two Little Boys

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman.

The husband said "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?" At that point the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home, slamming himself in the closet.

His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it."

You didn't get your hair cut!

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut; then we'll talk about it."

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, I'm really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."

His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."

(Authors are unknown)