At class the other night I said I did not like what I had to read.

        "I am Responsible for what I see.
        I choose the feelings I experience,
        And I decide upon on the goal I would achieve.
        And everything that seems to happen to me
        I ask for, and receive as I have asked." (T 448) [417]

I just had an experience that made this a whole lot clearer to me. I felt it was a real MIRACLE from my everyday way of seeing things. Not one I was looking for or expecting. It was a real change in perception.

In some ways it seemed like such a small happening, not worthy of mention. However, it was a real breakthrough in my own understanding of how I, in my own limited thinking, had felt the statement above was not true. I felt others were responsible for how I felt by their behavior. I did not believe I had the power to change what happened.

Last night my husband John needed to go to Emergency. A rash had broken out all over his body. It was not known if the antibiotics he was taking brought it on or something else. The doctor wanted him to be tested to find the cause of this rash. As we prepared to go he could not find his Medicare card. We both looked for it.

His wallet lay on the table and I picked it up to see if he had neglected to check it. John yelled at me not to do that as he had already looked. I started to look anyway and he became furious. He continued to be ANGRY and said some very hateful things. Some papers had fallen out of the wallet as I put the wallet down. None of his credit cards had fallen out. He yelled very loudly and with great hostility. Now he had to spend extra time trying to put all the cards back correctly into his wallet. I could not believe the hatred he displayed towards me for doing this.

I walked into the laundry room to finish whatever it was I was doing. I felt some very negative thoughts start to arise. I realized in that moment I HAD A CHOICE to make. One choice was self-righteous anger, depression and guilt, or one that made what happened innocent and totally meaningless. It seemed funny that one could get so upset over something as simple as a few pieces of paper falling out of a wallet. It didn’t make sense to me.

Was I less crazy to make it real and give the incident power in my mind? Was I going to lose my peace over it? The moment was so fleeting in which to make the right choice. It all happened so quickly. I said to myself, "This is totally meaningless. I will not make it real."

I instantly felt a shift inside. I gave no more thought or energy to it. I went on doing what needed to be done without any of the normal hurt feelings following such a seemingly unjustified attack. Rather than allowing myself to feel unfairly treated, it just had no effect.

John, on the other hand, let it go rather quickly. He did feel guilty, but I would not buy into that either. I told him that he need not feel guilty or make up for what he had done, as I had not felt badly. It was not necessary to try to do something to make me feel better as I had not been hurt by what he thought he did.

I got to see how quickly we make the choice for ourselves and for our brother who is one with us. The Eternity of JOY is lost to us in a single moment. Every moment is before us.

        "I am Responsible for what I see.
        I choose the feelings I experience,
        And I decide upon the goal I would achieve.
        And everything that seems to happen to me
        I ask for, and receive as I have asked."

So I got a real perception shift by experiencing this as true.

Frances, California
Also see "What is the meaning of "Turning the other cheek?""

. . . . .

 NO GUILT
I received an e-mail directed to my husband Ed and me from a male friend of Ed's. I had made some comments about an incident in our life that I was sharing with this friend. He responded by e-mail. I IMMEDIATELY reacted to the first and second paragraphs as if I was personally being attacked and felt anger. My response back by e-mail felt appropriate as: "The only way I can communicate with you is to not communicate with you."

I immediately lost my peace at the thought of attacking back, and picked up Ken Wapnick's book about the 50 Miracle Principles. He said in it:

"But usually we can become aware of the negative feelings we feel towards other people, so that if I find myself getting annoyed with you out there, and I am looking at you properly, I am letting the Holy Spirit guide me in how I am perceiving and understanding what is happening. Then He will tell me that whatever it is I am holding against you is really the mirror of what I am holding against myself, except that I did not know that I was holding it against myself."

With this disclosure, I was able to look at myself and literally experience WITHOUT GUILT the many times I had dealt with people in a short, abrupt, perhaps sarcastic way. I was also able to see that I saw what our friend wrote the way I did because I projected out what I was disowning in myself and was even angry at Ed for not seeing what was written the same way I did. During the night I awoke at about 4:00 am and felt the most tremendous release and freedom at the realization that I am responsible for everything I see and there is literally no one out there to blame or discuss. I was feeling complete freedom.

As the next day progressed I was given two more situations in which I was completely released and given an explanation of my part and did not feel any guilt. I was then aware of accepting responsibility WITHOUT BLAME.

Norma, Cotati, CA

. . . . .

Once I had a fantastic experience.
This must be what creation feels like. It felt like every loving thought, every prayer ever said, felt or spoken, every kind deed ever done anywhere, any time in my life from a simple smile to something big came back to me with overwhelming love. It was like a huge room full of people all returning, many times over, to me the kindness and love I had given them.

The appreciation and love that came to me was a moment beyond time that was so very beautiful that words could never come close to describing it.

The most beautiful love experience starts with those who we extend to and then continues when that love comes back again and again and again. We have no idea in the illusion how significant this work is.

Each moment we are entrusted with the opportunity to give from the truth of who we are. Each moment can bring back lifetimes of happiness in a single second when we experience all we have given to others.

It is so natural that you don't even know you have done anything at all. That, for me, is the greatest miracle of all.

Your life itself becomes a living prayer. You truly need do nothing and it is done for you and through you. You become a vehicle through which HOLY SPIRIT brings forward His presence into the illusion.

Frances, California
See "What is the Holy Instant?"

I have saved all your kindnesses and every loving thought you ever had. I have purified them of the errors that hid their light, and kept them for you in their own perfect radiance. They are beyond destruction and beyond guilt. They came from the Holy Spirit within you, and we know what God creates is eternal. You can indeed depart in peace because I have loved you as I loved myself. You go with my blessing and for my blessing. Hold it and share it, that it may always be ours. I place the peace of God in your heart and in your hands, to hold and share. The heart is pure to hold it, and the hands are strong to give it. We cannot lose. My judgment is as strong as the wisdom of God, in Whose Heart and Hands we have our being. His quiet children are His blessed Sons. The Thoughts of God are with you. (T 83) [76]

. . . . .

Last night I got really mad at one of my granddaughters.

Jess is 18. We were going to her house for dinner. We were running late when I called to say we were just leaving. She said they were sitting down to eat without us because they were hungry. She said it in a very mean way. It hurt my feelings and I was mad. What was so beautiful was what John said to me. "Now don't make a big deal out of this. JUST let it go. You know you will be happier if you do. Teens are that way. You know the whole evening will be wonderful if you just let it go."

He said it so lovingly. Tonight he was my teacher. So I let it go because I was thrilled that he said this with such love. When we got there they had not eaten. My daughter said as we came in the door: "Gosh Mom you're right on time." What John said turned out to be true.

I went on to have a beautiful evening with my granddaughter. She took me into her bedroom and showed me two large books of photographs she had put together. She asked if I would like to go see a play with her that her friend was in. She told me how much she loved me.

Now if I had stayed mad, this blessed moment with her would have been lost. My 17-year old grandson came in and looked at pictures with us, which made the evening even lovelier.

It just keeps coming back to me over and over how every
moment every decision we make comes back to us in some way.

It just keeps coming back to me over and over how every moment every decision we make comes back to us in some way. I felt so much love for John because he is using the Course in his life whether he knows it or not. I willingly became the student and let him be my teacher. He helped me choose love's presence instead of illusion.

Frances, California

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